too tired to put up a fight

I really wished you could support me rather than trying to proof that you would always be better than me all the time. Coming in second once in a while doesn't means that you are weak or you are the world biggest loser, it's just a number. But i can't deny that it's good to have a healthy competition once in a blue moon, but you as a ******* , should know when to stop being so competitive and be supportive. They are times when i wish you would stop bragging, it's those times where i need your support rather then listening to you talk about what a big shot you are. I am proud to know that you are smart and also to know you would be 'big' in the future. The pressure you put upon me is more than i could bear, i am not made of steel, in case you missed it, i'm human. No more than a normal human trying to live life the best i could.
Everyday i constantly have to live under your shadow, trying to compete with you for the lime light, no matter how hard i try, i get drifted deeper into the shadows.
No matter how hard i try and if succeed in being number one, without fail you would give some lame reason why you lost or all your excuses to protect your thick damn pride.
EGO, you are damn full of it. A fuel that you would never run low on.
Why can't you learn to accept that a man can't be number one all the time? Every man falls at least once in their life.
Don't ever ask me why i didn't told you how i felt and how it's affecting me, because you damn sure know that you would never hear me out, but instead you would throw your temper and i would be shredded inside out without mercy.
I have fallen on my knees, begging for mercy, let me go. Let me be as i am. I live without regrets as i know i gave and done my best in everything. But you're a very strong source, you make me not fall, you make me want to work my bloody arse of and try to be as good as you. I wish you would stop, it has done a lot of damage, more than i could handle, and if this continues, there is no guarantee i would have the strength to even fight for my life.
I'm too tired to put up a fight with you, as i'm already in war with my future constantly striving for a brighter one.