You made me 'stronger'?

I do not know how to explain what I'm going through now, it's one of those moments my body took a 1000m dive into the earth.
Everything single inch of me hurts,
My heart is racing
My lungs are struggling to breath
Insufficient supply of oxygen in my blood stream
The dizziness i experience is one that i never felt before
My pupils dilate, eyes feeling dry
My soul colours itself black
Every single nerve in me wants to scream

How could you say those words to me
How could you think of it

How did it even occur to you to suggest to me such taboo remedy
I rather live with what i have than try fixing it

Are you that desperate to push yourself to such limits?
I guess me giving up part of my wonderful life wasn't enough for you.
Or is it a gimmick to push myself to desperation too?

To give up all that i have now?
Is it what you want? So that you would be happy?

My heart is broken beyond repair, this moment of sorrow is engraved deeply into me.
My already harden soul adds another layer of armour over it, making it harder to penetrate.
A mask thicker than the last, I shall create.
The mask that i would wear over the real me.