...The Two Days...
Two days of my life
It's said that life is short. Is it that short? Isn't life long enough for us to live the journey we are destined to live? Or we are just plain greedy, we humans would never be satisfied till we find eternity?
The last 2 days of my life was sort of like hell.. probably more like a mini version of hell. I guess it's just karma, my debts in the past life are claimed in this life. I've not complained or uttered a single word for all the sufferings (probably a test from god) I've gone through. I've never questioned 'it' (not referring to god) why it choose me, why do i have to endure it for my whole life. All I've done is cry myself to sleep thinking about it. Being poked by a bunch of needles sucks like hell. Blood being drawn not only through my veins but my arteries (caused my arteries on both sides of my arms to swell). Depended on an IV bag for 2 days, feel the IV liquid pass intravenous through my veins, ain't a pleasant feeling. All watched me go through it with a morbid face, no pain or emotions are shown. My inner dark and twisty is awaken from deep under.
It's said that life is short. Is it that short? Isn't life long enough for us to live the journey we are destined to live? Or we are just plain greedy, we humans would never be satisfied till we find eternity?
The last 2 days of my life was sort of like hell.. probably more like a mini version of hell. I guess it's just karma, my debts in the past life are claimed in this life. I've not complained or uttered a single word for all the sufferings (probably a test from god) I've gone through. I've never questioned 'it' (not referring to god) why it choose me, why do i have to endure it for my whole life. All I've done is cry myself to sleep thinking about it. Being poked by a bunch of needles sucks like hell. Blood being drawn not only through my veins but my arteries (caused my arteries on both sides of my arms to swell). Depended on an IV bag for 2 days, feel the IV liquid pass intravenous through my veins, ain't a pleasant feeling. All watched me go through it with a morbid face, no pain or emotions are shown. My inner dark and twisty is awaken from deep under.
I refuse to show it to you.
I refuse to share it with you.
I refuse to tell it to you.
I'm sorry, i do not want you to know how i felt while going through all this. If i showed you how i felt, it would hurt you, and it would hurt me more. I rather take the full impact than see you hurt.
Giving up stuff i love in live takes more than an effort. It takes something that i do not have..
I hate being weak.
I hate being defeated.
I hate being like this.
I refuse to share it with you.
I refuse to tell it to you.
I'm sorry, i do not want you to know how i felt while going through all this. If i showed you how i felt, it would hurt you, and it would hurt me more. I rather take the full impact than see you hurt.
Giving up stuff i love in live takes more than an effort. It takes something that i do not have..
I hate being weak.
I hate being defeated.
I hate being like this.
Dedication is what is shall seek for.
I want to be stronger.
I want to be my own hero.
I want to stand on my own 2 feet.
I want to FIGHT it.
I WILL WIN THIS BATTLE.
You should not worry, as i have grown.
I love you more than ever. You mean the world to me.
Having you in life makes me stronger.
I Love You
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