too tired to put up a fight

I really wished you could support me rather than trying to proof that you would always be better than me all the time. Coming in second once in a while doesn't means that you are weak or you are the world biggest loser, it's just a number. But i can't deny that it's good to have a healthy competition once in a blue moon, but you as a ******* , should know when to stop being so competitive and be supportive. They are times when i wish you would stop bragging, it's those times where i need your support rather then listening to you talk about what a big shot you are. I am proud to know that you are smart and also to know you would be 'big' in the future. The pressure you put upon me is more than i could bear, i am not made of steel, in case you missed it, i'm human. No more than a normal human trying to live life the best i could.
Everyday i constantly have to live under your shadow, trying to compete with you for the lime light, no matter how hard i try, i get drifted deeper into the shadows.
No matter how hard i try and if succeed in being number one, without fail you would give some lame reason why you lost or all your excuses to protect your thick damn pride.
EGO, you are damn full of it. A fuel that you would never run low on.
Why can't you learn to accept that a man can't be number one all the time? Every man falls at least once in their life.
Don't ever ask me why i didn't told you how i felt and how it's affecting me, because you damn sure know that you would never hear me out, but instead you would throw your temper and i would be shredded inside out without mercy.
I have fallen on my knees, begging for mercy, let me go. Let me be as i am. I live without regrets as i know i gave and done my best in everything. But you're a very strong source, you make me not fall, you make me want to work my bloody arse of and try to be as good as you. I wish you would stop, it has done a lot of damage, more than i could handle, and if this continues, there is no guarantee i would have the strength to even fight for my life.
I'm too tired to put up a fight with you, as i'm already in war with my future constantly striving for a brighter one.

Life

How would life be if i wasn't born on the 23rd of March 1988?
What if i died in my mother's womb?
All i ever 'saw' was the inside of a human body, which i think won't be too bad.
The world is a cruel cruel place to live, it gets even worse by the second, minute, hour, day, week, month, year, decade, century, it would never be like how it used to be, some even irreversible. Racism, poverty, cancer, AIDS, global warming, evil, domination, drugs, etc.
With my presents now in this century, would i make a difference? 'Even a small voice makes a huge difference.' Is that so?? How true could it be? All i see and hear is that when someone 'big' tries to help the world, it is then being heard by the world. It doesn't seems to me that much people care about what a 'nobody' do.
I do donate to people who seek for donations, i give as much as i can, and wish for the best for everyone hoping i could help at least one person, give them hope and a new light to look forward to. But they are people out there who takes advantage, they are no more than mere frauds, how cold could their heart be to ask for donations stating to help the poor, or help monks or children? but in fact the money they collect goes into their own pockets???!!! Bloody useless people, using names of other unprofitable organization to satisfy their own greed. They've got all their limbs intact, why can't they find for jobs like others? Ungrateful people, why bother giving them limbs at the first place? I bet they are tonnes of people out there who would appreciate a working limb. People who blind could even work, why couldn't they??
Mad world this is, greed swallows the good of a person if not controlled properly.
They are even people who acts as a monk and selling 'religious' stuff to citizen, claiming that the profit would help build a temple or help feed a group of monks/kids/homeless.
It makes me feel sick to the stomach.
There's a lot more going on on this world, so much wrongs, more than the good.
Some times i wonder how would life be if i weren't born, would i be an angel? A guardian angel to someone? An angel to protect and guide.
=D it's just all a dream, with all my sins that i've committed (dissecting animals, burning fuel, cutting down trees, etc), i don't think i would ever get the chance to own a pair of wings.
One day i really wish to help change the world or even change a person's life.
To all my beloved friends, if you would all agree, we shall try to establish an organization to help people who really need our help.
With our tiny voices we shall send the world a loud message.
If can lah :P

Guitar Hero III

Saw the game on Saturday, but did not bothered to buy just yet. I wanted to do a little survey around Brisbane to find the best offer i could get on the bundle set (wireless guitar, plus the game disc). The store where i first saw it was selling at a price of $149.99, i thought it was a little bit too pricey, so i waited as i was going to the city on Monday with my mom. Went to the city, checked around, and the cheapest was $129.99, not too bad i guess, could save $20 -.-
My mom said it was okay, and if i really wanted to get it i could, so i was smiling from one end to the other, approached the sales lady and happily asked, "Excuse me, i was just wondering if you guys have any Guitar Hero III for wii?" Well i did tried looking for it at the store, but all they have was for xbox, PS2 and PS3, where GH3 for wii?????? Then after the sales lady tried to look for one for me, she can't find one T.T she went to the back office to ask instead. Then after a couple of minutes she popped back out, "Sorry, we ran OUT OF STOCK" :'( tragedy strikes
She said that she could place an order for me, which would only arrive after a week or so, mom said never mind, we''ll look for it from other stores. After that shop my mom and me were too tired to look around for it. Till today, my bro brought us to Garden City, tried looking for the guitar, but it's either they jacked the price too high or they did not have the game disc or the guitar, SAD sad sad. After Garden City i told my bro to bring me to Indooroopilly's JB hi fi, but they ran out of stock too. My bro said why not try eb games? since it was just next door? I decided to give it a shot, they said they had three pre ordered stock, which they can't sell to me because some one have already booked them. I asked them to help me look for one from other branch. They tried helping me look for one, then a small little miracle happened, the manager of the store came out and said that they had one extra!!! I was jumping up and down :D but it cost $149.99.... but mom said just get it :D hehehehe
addicted to it right now.. my latest craze =)
Nice game too play! You should get one too, if you're into guitars :D
SIOK BANGAT EH!!

My latest timetable for summer course; BIOL2019 (Human Anatomy)

Tuesday
0900-0950 Lecture
1000-1150 Practical
1400-1450 Lecture
1500-1650 Practical

Thursday
0900-0950 Lecture
1000-1150 Practical

This summer semester sounds pretty relax (i hope), timetable doesn't seem too pack or hectic.
But i'm still wondering how would the work load be? Assignments, homework? extra research? and how intense would the practical be?? I asked my bro how was the practical was and he gave me a piece of advice; "memorize all the names before you go to prac" -.- memorize? omg
all the scientific names, medical terms..... ermm well i guess i've got not much choice. I'll just remember what i can and face prac the best i can.
wakakaka
Summer semester starts on the 27th of November, i'm feeling excited and all pumped up, despite knowing that this course would be mondo locco hard, at least this time i'm 100% positively sure that i would love this course to the MAX! Loving a subject brings more interest, with more interest brings more will to study :D
I can feel the adrenaline rushing through my every vein, throbbing.

P.S

I was defeated by the extensive pressure upon me; my body went against my will, my mind was controlling itself. Every single strength i could muster to regain consciousness and full body control was a mere waste. I always underestimate what my mind, body and soul could do to me if left running wild, it's an obvious blood splatter on a piece of white canvas.
And am glad that it was stronger than i was, it took over and help navigate me back on track, pushing myself to such extend was doing more harm then good. No matter how much i study about something i do not understand or have interest in, it won't make me any smarter in that subject, it only adds more weight onto my already huge mountain of stress and pressure from my other subjects. Parasympathetic system rocks!!!! Relax and digest......

That night before my exam, i only read all the notes, then chuck them away... then entered the cyber world!!!! Chatted with didus and hsei di.. really help me relax, and got to update myself with my friends.
Did my best for my exam the following day, and left the examination hall without any regrets.
Loving life!!!
only have this one life to live and love

Magnificent building stucture

Giant Puppy
Giant Spider

I love looking at beautiful and unique building structure and i came across this building which captured my heart, it's like love at first sight. I was totally taken back by the beauty, it was beyond orgasmic.

Guggenheim Museum Bilbao
Simply marvelous, it's on my must see list before i leave this world, or i won't die satisfied (jk jk, well i still can visit this museum when i'm dead)

"The building

The Curves on the building have been designed to appear random. The architect has been quoted saying that "the randomness of the curves are designed to catch the light". Designed by Canadian/American architect Frank Gehry and opened to the public in1997, was immediately vaulted to prominence as one of the world's most spectacular buildings in the style of Deconstructivism. Architect Philip Johnson called it "the greatest building of our time".

The museum's design and construction serve as an object lesson in Gehry's style and method. Like much of Gehry's other work, the structure consists of radically sculpted, organic contours. Sited as it is in a port town, it is intended to resemble a ship. Its brilliantly reflective panels resemble fish scales, echoing the other organic life (and, in particular, fish-like) forms that recur commonly in Gehry's designs, as well as the river Nervión upon which the museum sits. Also in typical Gehry fashion, the building is uniquely a product of the period's technology. Computer-aided design (CATIA) and visualizations were used heavily in the structure's design.

Computer simulations of the building's structure made it feasible to build shapes that architects of earlier eras would have found nearly impossible to construct. Also important is that while the museum is a spectacular monument from the river, on street level it is quite modest and does not overwhelm its traditional surroundings. The museum was opened as part of a revitalization effort for the city of Bilbao and for the Basque Country. Almost immediately after its opening, the Guggenheim Bilbao became a popular tourist attraction, drawing visitors from around the globe. It was widely credited with "putting Bilbao on the map" and subsequently inspired other structures of similar design across the globe, such as the Cerritos Millennium Library in Cerritos.

The building was constructed on time and budget, which is rare for architecture of this type. In an interview in Harvard Design Magazine Gehry explained how he did it. First, he ensured that what he calls the "organization of the artist" prevailed during construction, in order to prevent political and business interests from interfering with the design. Second, he made sure he had a detailed and realistic cost estimate before proceeding. Third, he used CATIA and close collaboration with the individual building trades to control costs during construction." (taken from Wikipedia)

Such captivating building =D

Great Wall and now great wheel?? Three Gorges Dam

China is really standing out, first the great wall, and now the great wheel??
Higher than both the London Eye (73m shorter) and the Singapore Flyer (43m shorter), the Beijing Great Wheel will tower 208 metres (682 ft) when finished in 2009.
The Beijing version will carry 1920 passengers at a time, 40 to each of 48 compartments, able to carry 40 people in a capsul, compared with the Eye, which can carry 25 in each pod (from The Age).
There is a site, http://www.greatwheel.com/.
Price per ticket would be around 100 yuan (if not mistaken), but soon to be finalized.

Damn this dam is HUGE


Another structure that would soon be one of the world's greatest; Three Gorges Dam. "The Three Gorges Dam is a Chinese hydoelectric river dam which spans the Yangtze River in Sandouping, Yichang, Hubei, China . The total electric generating capacity of the dam will reach 22,500 MW and claims the title to being the largest hydro-electric power station in the world by capacity when it is completed. Several generators still have to be installed, and the dam is not expected to become fully operational until about 2011. As with many dams, there is a debate over the costs and benefits of the Three Gorges Dam. Although there are economic benefits such as flood control and hydroelectric power, there are also concerns about the future of over 4 million people who will be displaced by the rising waters, in addition to concerns over the loss of many valuable archaeological and cultural sites, as well as the effects on the environment." Text from Wikipedia.

"This pair of images shows the dam in partial completion in July 2000 and again in May 2006. The Yangtze River flows from upper left toward upper right in the images. In 2000, construction along each riverbank had occurred, but sediment-filled water still flowed freely through a narrow channel near the river’s south bank (bottom left). A smaller passage closer to the north bank of the river, where the water appears calmer, is likely a system of temporary locks that allowed for boat passage. A second dam bypass appears to be under construction about 1 kilometer to the north." source from Earth Observatory .

Japan's Dolphin Hunt.....

Dolphin waiting in line to be slaughtered

Sea of blood

Cruel man stabbing the dolphins

"The annual dolphin- hunting season in Japan is drawing protest from activist who say the practice is cruel. Some in Japan say it's culture." (Quoted from the NG site.)
How blind could these Japanese be??!! If this continues due to their 'CULTURE' what left of the already minimal dolphin population would be left??? If the dolphin population dies out, so would their culture. It's a two-way lose, from what i think and believe such cruel act shouldn't be a culture, it should be history, give the future generation a chance to be mesmerized by these beautiful beast. Once it's gone, it's gone, it would never come back to color our sea like how it is bringing out beauty and spreading warmth all over whom witness this little miracle.
Imagine the young ones being separated from their beloved parents, and they would have to bare the agonizing pain of being alone in this cold world full of cruelty.
How would you feel? Being stripped off from your loved ones, being alone without companion at a young age, your heart is cold if your answer is 'I don't feel anything' or 'They are just animals, they do not have feelings.' You're plainly dark and black from inside out, to the deepest floor of your soul.