family and homesick

it is today, but it doesn't feel like it is suppose to be
i thought i could hold on till the end of the day, but i was pulled down by more than gravity when my X and X donors called me a couple of minutes ago.
it hurts badly
i cried myself a river
a river i gave myself
not much of a day to remember
i try so hard to pull myself above water, but it seems as if i'm drowning in mercury instead
i feel my heart compress
i feel it hurt
i feel it fall into darkness
am more than crashed and burnt

for what i'm feeling right now is due to 'family' loneliness
i can't emphasis how important family is to me
i need them
i need them
i need them
a month away and i'm already depressed

-depressed daph-

i 'm very grateful for my friends around me
i can't thank you guys anymore for what you guys have done
thank you once again
xoxo